A butterfly flaps it’s wings and we fall flat on our face. A disgrace to your parents, your grandparents, their grandparents, your ancestors. I have to do better than my parents. I have do better than my friends. Have do better than my classmates or get eaten alive. The pressure is rising, while the competition is sizing up the weaknesses and strengths of others. Swords to sell and throats to cut. That’s a scary world to live in. It always has been. There are stakes on the line. Fortunes to be made, divorces to unwind. The decisions that we make shake or make us.
It is how we deal with them that matters, a wise man once said. That wise man might have been me. Tendons stretch and recoil, a billion cycles. A misstep with a pair of scissors while you’re trying to open some boxes, and your finger starts to bleed. If it’s not too deep the sanguine rush will eventually abade and your skin will start to heal. The skin that grows back may not necessary be stronger, elastic or blend with the rest of your skin; but your loss wasn’t permanent. Also, you might have gained sometime else. Think of it as a trade. And your injury wouldn’t hinder you in your life. Imagine all the other things that you will do with those fingers and toes. Probably more than you can count.
The body and the mind work the same way, it is hurt, and it regrows sometimes to capacity; sometimes beyond it. Everything has a spring constant. But, you aren’t. You’re an adaptability machine. What doesn’t kill you, won’t necessarily make you stronger. But there are lessons in damage and disrepair. There are so many strategies out there to confront the situations and problems that you are dealt with in life. You can run, hide, attack, go unprepared, go overprepared.
To the clueless mind, clueless words and behaviors are perceived as arrows and spears. We can panic and retaliate. In a hot second that is all that we might have. But, true adaptability and mastery comes from failure and pain. Those masters can only teach about success. Just as death may teach you more about life than the living. The universe exists in a duality, a yin a yang. Pairs of dancers, orbiting harmonious synchronicity. An ineffable amount of particles simultaneously creating order and disorder. Tumult and triviality. Triumph and trickery. A hearty laugh and a trailing tear finding its way to the dimple of your chin. Existence is diffusion. That means that eventually you’ll get to where you need.
As failure and death as your guide you’ll learn your art and learn how to follow your heart. Failure can bring us to doubt, misery, mistrust, looking for space for security. There is pain in the fall. And sometimes we just can’t manage to get back up again. Maybe sometimes your bones are too weary, your heart can’t take another blow. Sometimes we need help, are too proud, unsure, or afraid to ask for a helping hand.
Of course, it’s terrifying to make a request of yourself and others. You ask as your being has a desire to fulfill, for one cause or another. A low energy vacuum that can’t manage to reach equilibrium. The fear of failure and rejection does not come from being denied your desire, but rather that you will suffer without it. I am hungry because my body is starving. I beg for a loaf of bread, and can’t find a single crumb. The rejection is a judgement on your life. Without food to fill your belly, you will suffer the anguish of starvation. This is the worst scenario. And of course, there are many unfilled bellies in the world, but we will try to have a modicum of nourishment; and may sleep well this night.
As such we must go after what we want. The world will not always give to us. And it takes practice and mastery to get it. We start with what we have, and we build, we build, and we build. Cuts may heal, but calluses grow tougher each time they are peeled off. It is tempting to give in to the pain. It is tempting to succumb to the stress and the void. We may turn to anything to stop the pain, but for a moment. The nagging doubts, regrets, and feelings of dissatisfaction. They don’t really go away. They may be your constant companions. Although, they may not be your enemies. But, rather the voices than help to sharpen your knifes and your wits.
In victory, we radiate with joy and splendor. And in setbacks, the vigor is drained. Battles are lost. But, the war might not be. We readjust our tactics, change our perspective, form new alliances. And when the war is worth fighting, there might be a way to win. Every inch gained will have losses and the battles will be bludgeoning and grueling. With a north star, ahead, our gaze is focused on the horizon. The light at the end of the tunnel.
The only way to gain endurance is by enduring it. Every time you slide down the waterfall, that you are trying to climb, the better climber you will be the next time that you inevitably fall. And that immense pressure will shape you to the exact task that you need to achieve. You will get to the top of the waterfall, and finally see the river delta bellow in all of its glory. You become worthy of that glory. You paid your cost, and reaped your reward.
People will deny you a helping hand sometimes. They may even hold you back and attempt to stop you. They may tell you that you are doing it the wrong way. That you can only do it their way. That you must take the route that they did. There is only one path. They may be doubtful or your abilities or just concerned for your safety; and just ask you to stop. That drive exists only in you. That fire burns in your hearth, and knows what you really want. Figure it out if it’s what you really want, and what lengths you are willing to go for it. And we don’t have to hurt others, just because we were hurt too often. Violence has a cascading effect.
On the journey of life, we will always be surprised by our own abilities and the things that life has in store for us. There are no guarantees, no evitabilities, or fixed destinations. Every day is an ebb and flow. A rushing river or tranquil brook. Yin and yang, a surfer’s flow. Every morning we get up, and face the day. Carpe Diem, right? Let it be it your aim, and let failure teach you how.